The Rehearsal Story

My wife Mary and I had just moved into our new unit and were chatting with our new neighbours for the first time.

As we were chatting, our neighbour pointed to the soil in his garden.

“This soil is useless. It's sandy, and all the goodness has gone. When we first came here, we got the soil really healthy, but now everything we plant now really struggles.”

This story was data-back-then with a hint of feelings now. The story started in the past by his referral to healthy soil that was fertile but was now in poor condition and struggling.

When we returned to our unit, I said to Mary, "I think it’s possible that he or someone he knows is ill".

Did I do a Story Check? No, because we had just met and the trust level was very low.

What Story Check would you have tried?

A few weeks later, he told us that they had both been diagnosed with cancer and were about to undergo weeks or even months of treatment. They weren't sure what the outcome would be.

Another 'Data Back Then' rehearsal story

I was talking with a 42 year old man and he told a rehearsal data-back-then story.

“When I was 3, my parents took me to the hospital and left me there.”

Type of Story? Rehearsal. (Told from the past.)

Type of anxiety? Neurotic. A reality anxiety story that has been taken out of context by the 3-year old. His deep seated belief was that his parents had abandoned him even though he now knew intellectually that they hadn't.

Level of story? Data back Then. No emotional content.

The 3-year old developed the belief that he had been abandoned and the feelings that went with that belief had stayed with him.

What Story Check would you have tried?

(This is an example of how we give ourselves limiting beliefs. Yes, back then, parents couldn't stay with their children, so they did leave him there, returning the next day. He was in the hospital for about 3 days, an eternity for a 3-year old.

We explore how we can help people uncover their limiting beliefs with the skill or Life Commandment Listening.)

Heard the same story from the same person every time?

If someone tells you the same story over and over again, it means that you haven't heard it yet, and neither have they!

When your story-check is close or names the meta-story, the person will respond with either laughter or tears.