Story Listening Part 3 – Levels of Story
Lesson 14 Module 2
Tab 1 Title
Stories are told at different levels starting of with no emotional content. As trust develops the emotional content of the stories moves closer to the suface until we reveal how we are feeling in that moment.
Story Listening - Levels of Stories
Distant – Facts
One of the natural instincts for all of us is self-protection. When we meet someone new we are naturally cautious
This caution shows up in the stories we tell. At first we keep them at arms length by telling stories that contain little or no emotional.
Last year my wife and I went on a cruise. We tell stories from the past but we do not reveal ourselves to the listener.
We talk in a facts keeping a safe distance between us and the other person.
Trust starts to grow
As we get to know them a little better we gain more confidence in them but we open up a little more.
Feelings back then
Feelings start to creep in
As we become more comfortable and the level of trust increases we start to reveal more of our emotional self.
My wife and I had fallen into a rut so we went on a cruise and we had a some wonderful ‘us’ time.
We start to reveal a little more of ourselves.
Trust has now grown to the stage where we are confident and feel safe enough to reveal our current emotional state.
Before the cruise we were drifting so far apart that I feared that our marriage was about to fall apart. But, thanks to the cruise, we reconnected and some of the old spark came back.
The stories we tell present emotions that are obvious to the listener. We do not try to conceal what we are feeling.
The emotion is so blatant that you almost never miss it. The person’s feelings are moving into their conscious awareness and this is why it shows in the body first. Signs such as facial colour changes, their eyes become wetter, and their voice thickens. They may even find it difficult to speak.
We can control the words we use but it is almost impossible to control our body language.
Trust is now at a very deep level. This is the 4th level of story and it can be profound for the speaker.
The self-disclosure level of story is where the meaning of the metaphors, the repeated words and phrases come into their conscious awareness and they experience the accompanying emotion as either pain, joy.or hope.
This is why the unconscious chose that story to tell from the thousands it has to choose from.
Bye the way, in the next video, the types of stories we tell, I explain how you can raise your own level of self-awareness by listening to your own stories, themes and metaphors.
Tab 3 Title
A paper by Nancy L. Collins and Lynn Carol Miller explains the value of Self-Disclosure.