If you’re looking to reduce the amount and intensity of conflict in your life then check out this video.
Join Alan on a complimentary Zoom session and get the full story on how to
reduce conflict in your life.
Have you ever been in a relationship at home or work where you didn’t get frustrated and angry at times?
Probably not because arguments are inevitable. The trouble is conflict that becomes constant and heated destroys many relationships. The sad thing is that it doesn’t need to.
The trick to reducing disagreements is to have a plan to deal with them before they happen.
This simple step can enrich (or even save) your relationships at home and work.
For those who prefer to read with a little more information.
Change is the only constant throughout our lives.
Changes happen all through life and these can lead to the destruction of your relationship or provide you with an opportunity for growth. When it comes to conflict you must make the right choice. If you don’t your relationship will gradually dissolve into continual heated exchanges that will end with broken relationships.
A marriage will head for a divorce, a business will lose valued team members, or friendships falls apart. Either way there is emotional wreckage. Hurt, pain and broken lives are left behind. Children are emotionally damaged.
Imagine how happy children will be if parents reduce the frequency and intensity of arguments and possibly stay together. If you keep your engaged staff how much will you save? How much will you save if production remains high and you don’t have the expense of finding, replacing and training new team members.
Learn this simple but effective and proven model and reduce or even avoid destructive emotional turmoil and lost revenue by making a simple decision on how you will deal with conflict before the conflict starts.
I believe that this model saved and enriched my marriage because we learned how to argue with cool heads.
Prepare for conflict
If you plan for disappointments, then when they happen, you can deal with them rationally. The alternative is to wait until things are said in the heat of the moment that can permanently damage a relationship.
The first task is to clarify expectations.
One of my daughters was leaving to go on a date, and she said, “I like the guy, but I don’t know if I want to get serious with him?”
“What does he want out of life? Does it compare with what you want?” I asked.
She broke up with him that night because their life goals did not match.
So, what do you both want from the relationship? Put it out there. Be courageous, open, honest and clear about what you are looking for in the relationship.
When you have clarity, commit to the relationship. Sign the contract or make your marriage vows.
Then comes the honeymoon when everything is sweet. In the glow of the new professional or personal relationship, differences are overlooked and irritations ignored. You are looking at the world through rose coloured glasses.
During the honeymoon the new relationship has heaps of energy but that gradually fades and the relationship enters a prolonged period of high productivity. 80% of the energy in the relationship is spent getting things done and enjoying life. The other 20% is spent on maintaining the relationship.
But then, something happens that is 100% predictable.
Conflict – an opportunity for growth
Your partner says something that upsets you. Your boss snaps at you, and you don’t know why. This is a critical moment in any relationship.
It is a turning point, a choice point and what you do or don’t do next will determine if the relationship will be a success or failure. It is a crisis, an opportunity for change.
You have two choices: one good and one, well not so good. In fact, it’s terrible.
The positive choice leads to potential positive outcomes, and the relationship remains highly productive.
Unfortunately, most people make the not-so-good-choice, and the relationship slides into the opposite of the 80/20 productive stage.
Confusion reigns .
Constant conflict results
Once upon a time, you knew what to expect from your husband, wife, boss or work colleague.
Now you don’t, and you’re living with constant disruption and confusion. You feel uneasy. You don’t know what to expect and, over time anxiety builds, blame, guilt, and resentment grow.
Now your relationship is in trouble, and you have another four choices. Unfortunately, because of the stress, the chances of returning to a healthy productive relationship are low.
Don’t let conflict kill your relationship, make a make the right choice by making a plan to deal with conflict before it happens.
Join Alan in a complimentary 40-minute Zoom session that shows you what happens when you make the right choice and when you don’t.